Nothing new has really happened. I'm doing the one thing that I've always done and fear the most- waiting for things to happen. Taking control and making change is hard, but so very necessary. For now though, I'll relax because soon the change will come and it will be overwhelming.
I've tried to connect with people who are starting to drift away, and held a dinner for my friends last night. It was really fun, they were loud and energetic and just what I needed them to be. I made a great salad, a friend brought cold soup, and I made chocolate cake for dessert. Everything was gluten free for a friend (well almost everything, I just put goats cheese on her salad but breaded the rest of ours with panko crumbs.) which was different because you had to think around the normalized way of usually eating. We also dressed up, so I had an excuse to wear some of the clothes that I usually don't get a chance to wear. In a small way it was like I did take charge for once, I planned and baked almost everything for the evening and it was a great way to bring the few of us that could come together. The new and the old before we all head off in various places with different life goals in mind.
I'll leave off with some pictures from my 'insparation' folder on my computer, and a (reassembled) quote from a poem I wrote last year.
I'm not really sure where most of the images originated from, most are editorials that I've downloaded to my computer and where they came from is a secret of cyber space.
I fear for the future because I don't know what will happen
but the past sometimes happens again
and all of the moments that are now memories, remembered or forgotten
were sometimes better off not repeating
and fortune cookies don't always tell the truth
Love to all of you,
because every single person has beauty in them, and we don't see it all the time.